My name is Willie Bruen, and I'm your pilot, boatman and postman for the afternoon, while you take a break from the Captain's Table, Walk with me down to Memory Harbour, the Frances is tied up, jump aboard, balance the boat, and hide the bottle in the bilges. Stand back while I pull the cord and start the Seagull, let go for and aft, light me a Sweet Afton, pass me the mackerel line, take the helm and steer a course for the Metal Man.