continued from volume 13
Date: Monday, September 25, 2000 at 06:42:05 PM
Email: ..
Name: Ciaran
Message: Hi all, a new volume of the guest book up. The last one was FAR too quiet,
so let's hear from more of ye!
Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 02:02:18 PM
Email: mary.bilderbeck@wcom.ie
Name: Ladyhawke
Message: MetalMan, (the real one) glad you're honeymoon went well. Hopefully soon
we'll see some little statuettes running around. Or standing around.
Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 03:02:16 PM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: The Sheep on Oyster
Message: Since that bloody amadan the seagull has managed to fool ye all into
reading his demented monthly scribbles,We on Oyster have decided that itīs high time to
offer our own jaundiced view of whatīs being going on in our dearly beloved Ross Ceite,
so stay tuned avid readers for some juicey helpings about our oh so very B list local
celebrities. Baaaaaaaa.
Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 05:10:27 PM
Email: somewhere above Oyster lettin' fly with me rear end!
Name: Seagull
Message: Well, the cheek of them shmelly aul' sheep! I'll have you divils know that
I've been overcome with fanmail from around the world. Loads of folk are regularly logging
on to read up on local news! Away with ye, ye rude yokes!
Date: Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 05:56:07 AM
Email: MM@sligo.ie
Name: MetalMan
Message: Thank you Ladyhawke for your compliments, indeed we soon hope to hear the
patter of rain on our new statue. I was surmising the other day that Oyster Island is a
waste of fine land and maybe we could send the sheep to the slaughter house and build a
few hundred house there.. . for the elite of Sligo of course, we don't want any ruffians,
sheep-stealers or knackers living here on our idyllic peninsula. I believe that Maeve is
at the Olympics in Australia. Begobs is she gets a hould of some of those fine strapping
athletes they won't have any energy left! Mutton chops and leg of lamb does indeed taste
very nice!!!!
Date: Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 02:27:33 PM
Email: mjkelly422@hotmail.com
Name: Matthew Kelly
Message: Checking site for more information on Bruen Families
Date: Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 05:07:00 PM
Email: Kieran.Devaney@tv3.ie
Name: Kieran Devaney
Message: Hi all, Just curious to find out the identity of our regular visitor from
Indonesia!
Date: Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 06:03:38 PM
Email: bruen@btinternet.com
Name: Jimmy Bruen
Message: Hi Everyone, Christine and meself will be over on Saturday 30th Sept for a
relaxing week....Hope to see ya`s in Austies
Date: Friday, September 29, 2000 at 09:09:16 AM
Email: ..
Name: Ciaran
Message: Hi all, just to let you know, the link at the top of the page to the
previous volume of the G.B. is right but named wrong, ie. it links to Volume 13 but is
called volume 12. I've had computer problems over the last few days and only managed to
fix it last night @ 2am! I'll have the link fixed by tonight. cheers, Ciaran
Date: Monday, October 02, 2000 at 09:52:37 AM
Email: gull@thepoint
Name: Seagull
Message: Dear friends, I'm well aware that my column doesn't be updated on a weekly
basis. To tell the truth, the Point has gotten very quiet these days and I haven't heard
much news around the place. I'm also currently getting my various roosting spots cozy for
the winter. I'll get a good stout notebook over the next few days and be sure to jot any
titbits of news and gossip I hear and I'll strive to keep "The January Perch" up
to date! yours in warm winter woolies, The Seagull
Date: Monday, October 02, 2000 at 09:55:01 AM
Email: ..
Name: Ciaran
Message: The link to the previous volume of the guestbook is now fixed. I also
found a few links to earlier volumes were broken and these are now fixed as well. regards,
Ciaran
Date: Monday, October 02, 2000 at 08:04:40 PM
Email: snipe_r@longgrass.com
Name: The Snipe
Message: It seems the sleepy hamlet of Rosses point is settling down for the winter
on it's staple diet of fibs, fantasy and scurrillious conjecture. What that squaking
diarist can't catch in gossip, he'll make up in mischief. Why does'nt he unplug himself
over the 7th blunder of the modern world beside the C of I church. A few blobs could only
improve the aesthetics and the Duckworth cladding! oh here he's coming, dive for cover
watch the for ricochets, The seagull unplugged, Yours etc, the snipe.
Date: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 11:22:09 AM
Email: BigBomber@Sligo.ie
Name: The Swan
Message: Sounds like a great idea. I'll bring the boys down from the Garavogue. We
should be able to flatten the place.
Date: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 12:26:50 PM
Email: MM@sligo.ie
Name: MetalMan
Message: Be Gor I thinkg this is what they mean by a lot of sh one t!!
Date: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 01:00:15 PM
Email: gull@thebighouse
Name: Seagull
Message: Ho ho! With the Shligo Shwans with us we'll be a veritable force in the
skies over Rosses Point! Any more takers?? I know of several Rooks and jackdaws in the
village who could do with being a bit more constructive (or destructive!?) than pulling
asunder the village bins of a Tuesday morning!
Date: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 01:18:23 PM
Email: Rook@Greenlands.ie
Name: Rocky Rook
Message: Count us in. We'll stuff the chimney with twigs and copies of the Sligo
Champion.
Date: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 01:20:28 PM
Email: Jackdaw@GolfClub.com
Name: Jimmy Jackdaw
Message: I'll pimch some matches from Austies. Then we can have a real air strike.
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 12:55:46 AM
Email: pam@townhall.sligo
Name: P.A. McHugh
Message: I am organising a shooting party to go to the Point and blast those shower
of gobs#@tes out of it. For one, I am sick and tired of these plumaged skitter pipes
flying and dropping their doings wherever they like. And as my hands are tied, I can't
even reach for my hanky to clean the #@it from my eyes. You blasted birds don't know how
often Lady Erin, W. B. Yeats and all the religious statues that are outdoors pray for
rain.How else can we wash the #@it out of our eyes and from our golden heads. O o I could
cry and indeed often do in anger at you. And you damned feathered brains, blast you anyway
are the reason we have so much rain in Sligo. Tally-ho to Barton Smith's for guns and
ammo!!!!!
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 09:23:28 AM
Email: bullets over Sligo
Name: Baron von Seagull
Message: Well, meself and the lads gathered last night on the roof ridge of John
Doherty's new house for our 'bombing' run. All went well and I tell you, good citizens of
RP, we fairly plastered the place! The Coronation St. cladding was a very tasteful shade
of bird-do after the first run. The second run was more precise - all the west-facing
windows were completely blanked out!
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 09:23:56 AM
Email: bullets over Sligo 2
Name: Baron von Seagull
Message: We decided to leave it at that and everyone went their seperate ways. The
shwans back to Shligo, the crows away up to the golf course and meself and the few lads
that joined me from Coney back to our roosts. Well, imagine my dismay when I awoke this
morning to discover that the overnight wind and rain had washed the whole bleedin' lot
off! The shock of it! Well, I hope Mr. McHugh is now satisfied that the good statues of
Sligo are well washed now and thinks twice about arming himself to the teeth in order to
rid the skies of innocent birds who, after all, were only providing a service for the good
people of the Point last night! Yours with a sore butt and a tin hat on, The Seagull
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 11:42:44 AM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: The sheep on Oyster
Message: Iīm pleased to announce that due to the ever increasing incursions of our
soverign airspace by low flying winged cretins,we have finally completed our deployment of
SAMīs and ack ack guns(funded by non wooly,american Dolly).Be warned feathered ones that
any combatants taken alive will be plucked until they talk,stuffed(very slowly)and then
taken to a place where they shall attain eternal glory by appearing for one day and for
one day only on the Sunday lunch menu in the golf club This of course will not affect
diners from Sligo town or Leitrim too much as most of them couldnīt differentiate between
the taste of coq au vin and a flea ridden Jackdaw anyway.BAAAAA.
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 05:12:53 PM
Email: ..
Name: Seagull
Message: A message to all my winged collegues in the general Sligo area - OYSTER
ISLAND IS CURRENTLY OUT-OF-BOUNDS TO ALL INCOMING FLIGHTS OF SWANS, GULLS, SANDPIPERS,
OYSTERCATCHERS (yes, even ye!), CROWS, HERONS, AND ANY OTHER CREATURES OF FLIGHT THAT MAY
BE PAYING ATTENTION. Enter this area AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! Those fluffy fools have obviously
lost the run of themselves altogether! Ah well, maybe they'll do us all a favour on their
own out there and catch foot-and-mouth disease. Baaa yerselves!
Date: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 09:02:42 PM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: The sheep onOyster
Message: Under the terms set out by the special United Nations mutton-bivalve
molluscs comitee, I would like to make it perfectly clear to all and sundry that we on
Oyster hold special empathy towards the scurrilous Oystercatchers,they shall recieve no
quarter from us at all.We also have been in touch with our lawyers as we suspect that the
aforementioned birdies by naming themselves thus, are in serious breach of copyright.CHEEP
CHEEP
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 09:11:10 AM
Email: gull@killallsheep.com
Name: Seagull
Message: Feathered friends, flying types, countrybirds, lend me yer ears! This has
gone far enough! Those mouldy mutton-heads have gone too far. We must fight back. I'm
instigating a bird-blitz on those fools. I'm not going to press any of you into action,
but I am looking for volunteers. It's a dangerous mission, many of you may not come back.
But the time has come to rid our fair land of dissident sheep. WHO'S WITH ME????
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 11:07:18 AM
Email: Rook@Greenlands.ie
Name: Rocky Rook
Message: I'm game. Its time we taught those wooly jumpers a lesson. Let's mount the
attack at the weekend when they're all pissed.
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 11:17:11 AM
Email: snipe_r@longgrass.com
Name: The snipe
Message: Seagull, good show, but I deeply dissappointed we've not achieved our
objective yet. You know full well that it's the temptations that one has resisted, which
you miss & regret, not those one has succumb to! I say plug away till we achieve our
objective,....the secret of success in such missions is consistency of purpose, good aim
and deadly accuracy...don the cacki, onwards and upwards! there's medals in this yet or a
claim for windburn & a sore rear end. The snipe.
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 12:26:19 PM
Email: Jackdaw@GolfClub.Com
Name: Jimmy Jackdaw
Message: We'll be there too. There'll be roast lamb on the menu in the Club House
all next week!
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 04:20:00 PM
Email: MM@sligo.ie
Name: MetalMan
Message: Never fear about Oyster and those damn blasted sheep.All they are are a
pack of baaeers and shaggers. I have put in for planning permission to erect a lock of
villas and chalets on Oyster Island. Foley has got a load of backers in Australia and no
they are not Anne's! Bertie sans anorak plus Celia will turn the first sod. I have a very
good offer froma butcher in Sligo to buy the entire flock of woolly jumpers. Slan MM
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2000 at 05:28:24 PM
Email: killallsheep@oysterisland.com
Name: Seagull
Message: I knew my old friend the Metal Man wouldn't let us down! I'm a bit dubious
about this chalet and villa nonsense though. Just remember the monstrosity over by the C
of I, MM! You, of all people, have an unobstructed view of that thing. So, please, think
first before doing anything rash! Biggles Seagull
Date: Friday, October 06, 2000 at 04:02:09 AM
Email: sob@eejit.net
Name: Seamus O'Gallagher
Message: Now look here you lot, yez have upset all of my charges here at the E.A.
FitzPAtrick Asylum for widowed and orphaned men. The 'Boss" has applied for asylum
here, e'en though Maureen is still living in the same Gandon mansion. He must be confusing
it with political asylum. He said that Ann would back him financially, or was it Ray?
Anyway you shower of skitterpipes ak.k.a feathered birds, cease forthwith this case of the
skitters on fine houses. And as for the mutton dressed as lamb, at least clean yer
tailends befere you utter a baa. And MM as Seagull says, one monstrosity is one to many
for the lovely penninsula. Slan lath agus plaster lath, Seamus
Date: Friday, October 06, 2000 at 04:08:45 AM
Email: smaf@sligo.ie
Name: St. Martin at the Friary
Message: There will be a prayer meeting for all statues of Sligo in O'Connell St at
3 a.m. on Sunday morning followed by a Celidh. Prayer will be led by St.Joseph and the
music by The Leitrim Ceilidh Band. Admission is free. Hargadon's Pub will have an
exemption for the occassion and supper will be provided. A Bus will depart. Sooey, 1 a.m.
Dromahaire, Coollaney, Skreen, Dromore West,Tubbercurry, Ballymote, Riverstown, Collooney,
Ballisodare, Strandhill, retruning the opposite direction after the dance. Bless you all.
Martin de Porres. Phone enquiries to Sligo (71) 62140
Date: Friday, October 06, 2000 at 09:10:41 AM
Email: wings over Rosses Point
Name: Seagull
Message: I, the Seagull, do hearby declare, that, due to ongoing pleas from certain
quarters, I will cease all military and airborne action if, and only if, those feckin'
woolybacks knock it off too! (Can't see that happening, though!)
Date: Saturday, October 07, 2000 at 02:01:55 AM
Email: HM@palace.uk
Name: Elizabeth Regina 11
Message: My dear friends of The Rosses I applaud Seagull for his generosity towards
those ovine characters on Oyster Island. Phil the Greek and I would be interested in
purchasing a plot on which to build a small cottage of about 40 rooms on Oyster. Pehaps
one could advise one on the procedure? Did Willy Yeats ever 'A small cabin build there' on
Innisfree. Could we take the corgis to The Point? By the way, tell all females over 16 to
don their chastity belts when Phil the Greek arrives. I opened an old folks home in
Folkstone last week and he was found kissing a 99 year old. I don't know why he is like
this, obviously doesn't get enough at home!
Date: Saturday, October 07, 2000 at 06:41:20 AM
Email: sanchez@espana.net.sp
Name: Pedro
Message: Allo can you please tell me what is Seagull and Metalman? Is it name
writer use as alias? Or is it real live people? I show all my friends in Esapan this page
and they laugh lots. The Asylum for Widowed Men? what is this? Thank you I will come to
your site lovely more. Pedro
Date: Saturday, October 07, 2000 at 09:49:27 AM
Email: MrBig@cheztrophy.com
Name: MR Big
Message: This is a plea to all the feathered folk to call off your plugging runs,
we have'nt been able to get out of our luvely mansion for over a week now. The windows are
still streaked with guano despite the rain and we're deaf from the ovine crazed muckers on
oyster. Me swanky curvedstaircase is piled 2ft deep in ordure and the pong is worse than
Carton bay at low tide. Two screeching barn owls have taken up residence in the eves and
persist in shouting insults all night long. What is a self made man to do? Move to Oyster
and build a nice Benidorm development eh ..eh?. I'm calling in the weasels & stoats to
protect my pride and joy. Yours etc distraught in anguish Mr Big (plugged)
Date: Sunday, October 08, 2000 at 03:28:21 AM
Email: jsm@littlerock.com
Name: Joe Small
Message: I was considering retiring to Rosses Point. On reading of the antics of
The Birds I might reconsider, after all Hitchcock made a movie called The Birds and I
don't want my proposed mansion shoneteed upon in a frenzied attack. I am a crack shot with
a rifle and I suppose I could shoot the motherless sods for you. Actually baked seagull is
nice with custard and raisins. See you anon, Joe. PS My friend Bill will come with me on a
visit to Coney and Oyster Islands after he finishes his presnt contract in January.
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 09:28:36 AM
Email: ..
Name: Ciaran
Message: I have to say, this is the most enjoyable volume of the guestbook I've
seen in a while! Keep it up, you lot!
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 01:47:18 PM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: The sheep on Oyster
Message: Iīve been laid low in the bunker these last few days,meself and Dolly
after extracting the whereabouts of the feathery dopes ghq (Hacketts roof) from two
miserable specimens who were later plucked and strangled,we sat down to dine on the
prisoners.Dolly not being the best in the galley rang chef Kilfeather who kindly supplied
us with an exquisite recipe for boiled Owl and essence of fog.Those oul owlīs are awful
hard on the stomach.Thereīll be no appartments on Oyster and no peace for the seagulls on
Hacketts roof until Mary puts them between two bits of bread and serves them to TV3 staff
who will compliment her on the ham . Baaaaaaaaa.
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 02:06:54 PM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: Dolly on oyster
Message: I just wanted to say that thanks to all this guano about,Georgieīs
Marijuana plants have never better and to inform ye all that with all these willing birds
captured on Oyster, we īll soon be offering a Ko Samui style escort service for Austieīs
clients (ferry service included).More details will be read out at mass on Sunday.
BAAAAAAAAA.
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 02:56:31 PM
Email: seagullsinarms@our_secret_hq.com
Name: seagull
Message: Well, I said I'd give up but I just knew those sheepish fools couldn't
just let it go. And the two poor unfortunates captured and (sob) strangled did a fine,
fine job of throwing the eejits off the scent. Our ghq is far, far away from where ye
thought it was! HA! And now I see they've managed to aquire some allies. 15 big thick
horses have landed. The sheepish ones seemed to be under the impression that they'd form
an effictive beach-head but all they managed to do is start eatin' and leaving their own
impressive steaming heaps around the place. Big imbeciles!
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 11:30:20 PM
Email: pam@townhall.sligo
Name: P.A. McHugh
Message: By God that bloody does it, we gave the bird-life a reprieve and those
blasted dumb sheep go and behave like animals, and on Oyster Island to make it worse. I'm
going to Ballymote to get me axe and I'll show hose bloody smelly motherless sods called
woolybacks how I can still swing it. Can someone tell Blind Paddy Healy and Caruso Finan
to meet me at Hackett's and we will plan the massacre of the Oyster sheep!!!!!!!
Date: Monday, October 09, 2000 at 11:33:45 PM
Email: miseeire@gpo
Name: Maeve
Message: Och this is great stuff! I haven't had such fun since the Battle of
Cooley. . . well outside of the bed that is!!:) Imagine bloody sheep killing and eating
birds? What next? I hear that Charlie and Ray are going to build a temperance hotel for
reformed Fianna Failers' and that the Doc will be the first patient, sorry guest. Ann and
the Doyle family are behind it! That will fix the sheep up quicker than P.A. Blind Paddy
and Caruso!
Date: Tuesday, October 10, 2000 at 09:07:05 AM
Email: secret HQ somewhere in Co. Sligo
Name: Seagull
Message: Woa there PA! Will ye hold back there! We are warriors not barbarians.
Slow down there and think about your actions. We want rid of the woolybacks and those
moronic equines, we don't want to end up arrested for crimes against ovinity. Sit yerself
down, have a cigarette and maybe a half one, and between us we'll come up with a better
plan
Date: Tuesday, October 10, 2000 at 08:34:13 PM
Email: mistymom@cybercomm.net
Name: Anne Gillen
Message: Have always enjoyed visiting here. Will continue to come back to see
what's new.
Date: Tuesday, October 10, 2000 at 09:44:47 PM
Email: mrbyrne@monmouth.com
Name: Mary Byrne
Message: Delightful web page. Visit mine sometime. www.monmouth.com/~mrbyrne
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 12:00:49 AM
Email: wby@drumcliffe
Name: The Eminent distortion at the bank
Message: I will arise and go now/ To Oyster far away/ And build a slaughterhouse
there/ Nine spits for roasting lamb/ And an Rosemary and mint tree for the sauce/ And dye
the fleeces gold/ To fool the Fianna Failers/ Who refuse to take the stand/ And would
prefer to lie like a rug on the hearth. Not my best work, but I am old and rusty now from
being left out in the Sligo rain, and please little birds go and sh#it some where else!
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 12:05:10 AM
Email: caruso@operahouse.it
Name: Caruso Finan
Message: Deer sur, suggest you contact Henny Oates, me an' Blind Paddy are here in
Milan at the Opera.
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 10:35:28 AM
Email: OStone@acropolis.com
Name: Oliver Stone
Message: This is great, could I buy the rights for this story. It would make a
great movie, imagine....carnage, feathers flying, wasted wollies, seaspray from plegets of
bird dung, the awful hum of battle & cack, the scenic backdrop...blasted apart...it's
brillant!...we could call it .. GUNGHO in GUANO...amazing...humungus, can't
wait......here's $1mill in birdseed..sign here Seagull old bard.
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 11:56:34 AM
Email: Pollock@SligoBay.com
Name: Peter Pollack
Message: Something fishy going on here!
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 04:06:24 PM
Email: Sheepdip.com
Name: The sheep on Oyster
Message: Itīs all over at last,the skies over Oyster are clear.This morning I
recieved a delegation of some very desolate and dazed gulls and cormorants,who surrendered
unconditionally and were extremely happy to do so.They said that they had had enough of
the idiotic despot known as the seagull.This Gobshi** had been forcing them into combat by
kidnapping all their eggs and threatening to sell them to the coffee dock.This surely
contravenes the terms of the Geneva convention.So Seagull your days are numbered , will RP
be the next Yugoslavia? And as for his henchman and woman.....well.The metal man will soon
be substituted by the continuity one (who at least is funny) and as for the seahag (MAEVE)
WELL THE TIDE WOULDNīT TAKE HER OUT.Victory is ours and weīre selling the film rights to
TV3.bAAAAA
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 05:10:41 PM
Email: .
Name: Seagull
Message: Don't anyone listen to those thieving, lying, shmelly, dirty subversive
yokes' propaganda! Noone has surrendered! 'Tis all lies, I tell you! THERE WILL BE NO
SURRENDER!! (Am I losing the run of meself just a little bit here??) Seagull
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 06:43:47 PM
Email: @hotmail.com
Name: mariemcgowan
Message: Great place to live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Continued in Volume 15